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Fri, Nov. 13th, 2009, 01:22 am
midnight pancake mashup

in attempt to satiate a burgeoning late-night hunger, i took it upon myself to do what i so rarely do: cook. i am not one to be hemmed in by recipes or the "recommended" ingredient sizes therein. i am much too spontaneous to be bothered by that. when i cook, i prefer to freestyle whenever possible. take tonight's entree, for example.

what started off as an attempt at low-carb homemade pancakes turned into something much more special. for the benefit of all other hungry souls reading this, i have provided the recipe.

Jared Jemima's Magical Mystery Pancakes

1/2 cup low-carb baking mix
1/2 tbsp. canola oil
1 egg
1-2 cups skim milk
1/2 tbsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
approx. 1/2-3/4 cup ground flax seed
approx. 1/2-1 cup whole wheat flour
a dash or two of ground cinnamon
a light squirting of organic blue agave

put ingredients in a bowl. smoosh. oil skillet. heat skillet until hot. add pancake goo. heat for about a minute and then flip. heat until pancake is greyish-brown. repeat as desired. makes about 8 silver dollar pancakes.

my pancakes produced a unique flavor. the pancakes tasted as if only the skim milk and flour had combined and nothing else. the resulting flavor was almost like a solid wafer of water. the pancakes had a distinctive grey/brown color and a uniquely chewy texture. the pancakes make a puzzling squishing sound when bitten into and have a tendency to slide around the plate, particularly when lubricated with syrup. the pancakes have a rather contradictory temperament, for although they have a squishy, almost nerf-ball like texture, they are simultaneously edible. these pancakes are best served as a breakfast entree, afternoon snack or as a cure for constipation. this dish is best served with lots of syrup.


Fri, Nov. 13th, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)

I tend to view recipes as more of a suggestion, as following them to the letter is too confining. Unless I'm baking, in which case, there is far less room for interpretation.

This post, like damn near all of yours, cracked me up.

Fri, Nov. 13th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)

"I tend to view recipes as more of a suggestion[.]"

...and i have no doubt you are a fine cook. further validation for my alternate methods.

Tue, Nov. 17th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)

Huh. Maybe you have found a new calling- food critic.
I felt everything that you described so colorfully, deep within my soul, or perhaps bowels, by just reading this.